When God's plans= your desires!

It's a question that gets asked to all types of ages. From the time you start kindergarten you are often asked "What do you want to be when you grow up?" A lot of the time children answer with innocent, yet, unrealistic answers such as an astronaut, president, or a rockstar. Now, I  would never tell a child this was unrealistic, but as they grow most children's answers change.  When you're a high school senior the question gets asked and asked, "what's your major?"" What are you doing with your life?" Still, as a senior some students have no clue. Then, after four years of college you are supposed to magically know what life holds for you. "What are you going to do now?" They ask. With all that being said, I've always known what I wanted to do with my life. I don't say that to brag at all, because well..quite frankly its just not something to brag about.  You see, God knows my brain and my heart and having to make that decision would have been a struggle if I weren't so sure of what I was supposed to do.  A lot of people who go into teaching say they have always wanted to be a teacher. I can say that as well, I remember writing lesson plans and seating charts, teaching my dolls, and making my cousin play school. I vividly remember creating a teddy graham party of some sort for my "students", however that was before I was aware of the common core standards. I still have a journal entry from first grade saying, and I quote, "I want to be a teachur". Even throughout elementary and high school I never changed my mind. As I got older, it became deeper. I still wanted to be a teacher, but it was because I knew that was what God was calling me to do. I knew that his plan was for me was to inspire young people and love them and teach them. During my second year of college I struggled with this calling, I felt as if it was "God's second string". I allowed the devil to tell me that this wasn't good enough and that it wasn't as good as a missionary or a ministry position and that made me a failure  because "God would never trust you to have something as worthy as that." After attending Passion I learned to stop focusing so much on " God's will" and to daily live for Him and bring glory to his name. That was my will, and even though as a teacher I can't outwardly share my faith, I can certainly spread God's love.  Now, with everything I've just told you, you would think that I would have complete confidence in my Heavenly Father to provide for me a job. However, it was an up and down semester with my trust in Him.When I began student teaching I was even reassured that teaching was my calling. Now, for you teachers that are reading this, I know what your thinking, student teaching doesn't hold a candle to real teaching, but the toe that I stuck in the water of teaching enjoyed every bit of student teaching . I was constantly reminded by my mentor teacher that The Lord would place me where I needed to be, she encouraged me to trust and not get discouraged in His plans and timing. I would like to say that as graduation approached I stood strong and had faith. After one interview led to nothing, I felt uneasy. I knew The Lord would put me where I needed, but I just was uneasy about the where? Would it be in a teaching job, would it be at food city, or would it be something completely different? Anyway, through a book I was reading, "A confident Heart: learning to live in the power of God's promises", I tried to feed my doubt with encouraging words that Christ created me with all of my qualities for what he had planned for me, and He that He has something great planned for me. I knew there was a position open in first grade at my old elementary school. I absolutely wanted this job, a school in my community and a grade level I wanted. I don't think that it could get any better than this. I got an email for an interview and was thrilled! I knew that it didn't really mean anything, but I knew that all I could do was my best and trust God in what would happen after that. My interview happened to be during the first week of camp.  I left during flag pole to head to my interview, and I didn't know this at the time, but the camp said a prayer for me before heading to breakfast. I came back to camp, not feeling defeated nor confident. I knew I tried my best, but I "tried" to leave the rest to God. I was told that I wouldn't find out until the following day about the position, So I tried my best to go on with the camp activities and not think about the outcome. After water games that afternoon, I noticed the secretary of the school ( who also happens to go to my church) pull in at camp. She came up to me with a big smile on her face and hinted that she knew something, and asked if I had checked my messages. I told her that I didn't wanna listen and walked away. I took my girls in and grabbed my phone and checked my messages to hear I was the new first grade teacher. I ran through the camp like a wild woman and got to celebrate at the place I feel the closest to God!! I was overwhelmed with emotions, for about two hours solid, I did a mixture of crying, laughing, and screaming. As other teachers who were working at camp shared, I will never forget that moment. I don't think I've ever been happier than at that exact moment. I don't even think it fully sunk in until I was home Friday floating in the pool when I  broke down and cried at the Lord's blessing for me.  Not only do I get to experience earning something that I've worked so hard for, but God gave me exactly what I desired. To see Psalms 37:4 actually take place in my life, is so amazing. To see what I had planned for my life line up with Gods is just well..I can't even find the words. To be able to teach in the classroom in which I wrote "I want to be a teachur", has to be an act of God. He knew all of this even before I wrote that when I was in first grade, He knew the plans he had for me, despite my doubt and inconsistent faith. Am I still scared about this new adventure, yes, but asAmy prayed over me at camp, God has place me in this place for a reason and for that I am thankful!!